A
Alan
Dalziel (Utility Player)
United Equivalent : Stuart Duff
Fan Rating : True Arab
2006/07 Shirt Sponsor: 
Possesses an encyclopaedic - some might say
scary - knowledge of all things trivial and tangerine. Your flexible
friend - often launched from the bench in times of crisis and asked
to fill in all manner of awkward positions. Used to be unsung, then
he went and won 'Club Man of the Year' so in all likelihood he's now
a big headed prima-donna. For the older Arabs amongst you Alan's newly
swept back 50s hairdo may well evoke memories of the great Dennis
Gillespie. He also runs like a black and white film at times, depending
on how many WKD's he's necked the night before!
Andy
Beveridge (Wide Midfielder / Forward)
United Equivalent : John O'Neil
Fan Rating : True Arab
2006/07
Shirt Sponsor:
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A
menacing winger who as opponents have discovered to their cost has
been known to cross a ball in like Kevin Gallacher versus Barcelona.
Despite living amidst the scholarly surrounds of Cambridge Beveridge
has the stupidity - sorry the dedication - to make the long trek down
to London for weekend matches. Totally committed to the cause.
Andy
Donaldson (Wide Midfielder / Forward)
United Equivalent : Andy McLaren
Fan Rating : True Arab
2006/07 Shirt Sponsor: 
A mercurial, old-fashioned forward, a glorious
throwback to the halcyon days of 5 up front, knee length shorts and
handlebar moustaches. Andy hogs the white line like John Leslie on
a three day bender and dribbles with the consummate ease of a man
who never quite recovered from a serious head trauma. Allergic to
defending, last season's lone attempt at what might loosely be termed
a tackle ended with a considerable souring of Scottish-Bulgarian relations.
Does chip in with the odd spectacular goal now and again - although
often when his team are already 10 or so in arrears
Andy
McMeakin (Wide Midfielder)
United Equivalent : Allan Preston
Fan Rating : Unknown
2006/07 Shirt Sponsor: 
Usually
appears on the right hand side of midfield. Another one who doesn't
often bring his comb and his similarity to Dave G & Iain W is
invaluable when it comes to confusing the opposition!
Andy
Wingate (Central Defender)
2005/06 Most Improved Player
United Equivalent : David McCracken
Fan Rating : A passing interest
2006/07 Shirt Sponsor:
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Newton's
Third Law informs us that for every action there is an equal and opposite
reaction. For every Yin there is a Yang. For every Siggi Jonsson there
is an Andy Wingate. Stoic, dependable, what the English like to term
a "no nonsense defender". Whilst Pushing Tin out of Gatwick,
South London Air Traffic Controllers have become accustomed to skilfully
weaving 747s in and out of Wingate clearances. Not ever likely to
get caught dwelling on the ball. Not often found wanting either. Last
years most improved player (by the length of one of his clearances).
B
Ben
Heath (Forward)
United Equivalent : Victor Ferreira
Fan Rating : Wouldn't be a regular Shed Boy
206/07 Short Sponsor: 
Usually creates enough chances to win a dozen
matches and fortunately he often takes enough to win one of them.
Always arrives later than a Davie Bowman slide tackle from behind
but nevertheless an important member of the squad.
Benno (Central Defender / Midfielder)
United Equivalent : Jamie Dolan
Fan Rating : Tenuous at best
2006/07 Shirt Sponsor: 
The man with the curiously Brazilian sounding
name is more Lucio than one of those Fancy-dan girly South American
forwards that the pundits are always waxing lyrical over. Solid &
dependable, he does exactly what it says on the tin … providing
you can get the bloody lid off the thing to open it of course.
C
Chris
Montgomery (Full Back)
United Equivalent : Gary Bollan
Fan Rating : Arab & former Hibs & Aberdeen mascot!
2006/07 Shirt Sponsor: 
A
pretty handy egg-chaser in his day, Chris brings all of his Rugby
prowess to the black art of football defending. Bemused and bedraggled
opponents often come out the other end of a Montgomery assault looking
like road kill spread-eagled across the grill of an articulated juggernaut.
Definitely a man to have on your team rather than against you!
Craig
Hughes (Forward / Midfielder)
United Equivalent : Paddy Connolly
Fan Rating : True Arab
2006/07 Shirt Sponsor: 
A true student of the game Craig travels the
world watching top-class football matches from the dingy confines
of an outside broadcast unit van. Often causes problems going forward.
Defenders hate him … and the opposition aren't that fond of him
either.
D
Dave
Gerty (Attacking Midfielder)
United Equivalent : Charlie Miller
Fan Rating : Dundee who?
2006/07
Shirt Sponsor:
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Wilson
To
Sponsor This Player Contact Iain Wilson
The hair says Jim McInally, circa 1987, but the feet say 1994 vintage
Billy McKinlay. Flashy - but not in a way that is likely to get you
subbed or arrested.
Dave
Gilchrist (Full Back / Central Defender & Club Captain)
2005/06 Joint Player of the Year
United Equivalent : Paul Hegarty
Fan Rating : True Arab
2006/07 Shirt Sponsor:
Like Heggie minus the hair Dave is a leader on the park and an inspiration
off it. He would like to tell you he's a left back but his greatest
moments always come in the trenches when the boots are flying. Often
forms a near impregnable one man wall of tangerine, the bald head
solid and upright, like a lighthouse beacon guiding anything dangerous
away from the goal. Like any good captain is often vocal in urging
his troops on to even greater efforts … or calling them all useless
b*stards, as is his want.
E
F
G
Gregor
McMurtie (Goalkeeper / Forward)
United Equivalent : Hamish McAlpine / Alex Mathie
Fan Rating : True Arab
2006/07 Shirt Sponsor: 
Stand-In
goalkeeper 'Shouty' is one of those classic breed of eccentric custodians,
bad one minute, brilliant the next. Never spills his pint but occasionally
lets slip a speculative 30 yarder. In spite of this one astonishing
reflex tip round the post v Man United last season will live long
in the memory. It was the sort of breath-taking stop that makes the
Gordon Banks save against Brazil look like something Kelham O'Hanlon
might have dealt easily with. Apparently he also claims to be a lethal
striker but few white men have seen it.
H
I
Iain
Wilson (Central Midfielder)
2005/06 Joint Player of the Year
United Equivalent : Lars Zetterlund
Fan Rating : True Arab
2006/07 Shirt Sponsor: 
Yet another member of the squad for whom hair is sadly not an optional
extra. A near ever-present who anchors the midfield but rarely gives
it that sinking feeling. Can turn on a sixpence, although not often
spotted spending one at the bar! You won't see Wilson attempt a tackle
for ages, then like buses two or three will suddenly come along in
quick succession. Regularly gets amongst the goal scorers.
J
Jamie
Hempseed (Midfielder)
United Equivalent : Ray McKinnon
Fan Rating : Arab C. Nesbitt (AKA a west-coast Arab)
2006/07 Shirt Sponsor: 
Mercifully recovered now from a career-threatening
groin injury, most likely picked up in a seedy hotel bedroom tryst
during the wee small hours of an SLT trip north to Dundee. Knocks
the ball around like Mark Kerr would if his boots were on the right
feet. Jamie swaggers imperiously through the midfield always looking
to link play and - as the birds will attest - always making himself
available for passes.
K
Kev
Downie (Central Midfield)
United Equivalent: Dave Bowman
Fan Rating: True Arab
2006/07
Shirt Sponsor: 
Casually
attired but never less than smart Kev brought a resurgance of motivation
and organisation both on and off the pitch to the SLTs. He lead from
the front in his midfield general role early on in the 05/06 season
as a goal scorer and creator. Never happier than when despatching
Aberdonian opposition, bedecked out in the tangerine hummel strips
that he secured for the SLTs. Very much a carrot and stick man on
the training field, there was no such thing as a bad time for a couple
of extra press ups for the lads. Having been integral in restocking
the SLT player locker and bringing in much needed funds to the club
Kev sought a new challenge in the new world and now plies his trade
with another tangerine clad team in NZ. When he's not doing that he's
currently on a one man mission to drag their 1950's dress sense in
to the new millenium.
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Nic
Bowker (Midfielder)
United Equivalent : Walter Rojas crossed with Peter Rundo
Fan Rating : True Arab
2006/07 Shirt Sponsor: 
Nic is living proof of just how far United's
exploits in the 80's reverberated. Based in Brighton, pretty much
as far south of Tannadice Street as you can get, Nic shrugged off
his parent's early attempts to buy him a Dee top ("What do you
mean there's another Dundee?") and has been a loyal Arab ever
since. It can also be said with just a hint of melodrama that you
wouldn't be reading this were it not for him. As the London Arabs
webmeister he ensures that all the latest news and features appears
on this very website. He has succeeded with every challenge thrown
at him and there's been a few. He's somewhat of a London Arabs ambassador
to the USA if his regular photo submissions from Sh1tsville USA to
the United e-newsletter are anything to go by. His SLT football career?
All that can be said is that he's got a pair of tangerine boots currently
on e-bay with the caption "Used once. No longer required"
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Simon
Campbell (Forward)
United Equivalent : Kevin Gallacher
Fan Rating : Supports the smaller United (Manchester)
2006/07
Shirt Sponsor:
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Runs
like a man being chased down Tannadice Street by a Dee4Life with a
collecting bucket. Faster than a speeding bullet, although in tests
he came off second best against the more powerful locomotive.
Stevie
Balfour (Midfielder)
United Equivalent : Scott Crabbe
Fan Rating : Hun
2006/07 Shirt Sponsor: 
Twitchers amongst you might be interested to
note that the Lesser Spotted Balfour can on occasion be sighted out
on the flanks at parks the length and breadth of London. Distinctive
and colourful it tends to be on song when it appears, but has been
known to hibernate for long spells over the winter period.
Stevie Nicol (Midfielder)
United Equivalent : Miodrag Krivokapic
Fan Rating : True Arab
2006/07
Shirt Sponsor:
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Wilson
Taking
the ornithological theme just a little further ex-London Scottish
star Stevie finally saw sense and elected to migrate south to join
the Tangerines for the forthcoming winter season. Given that those
so-called 'Scottish' b*stards beat us twice last season he ought to
be a useful addition to the squad as well.
T
Tommy
(Gilmour) Guthrie (Full Back)
United Equivalent: Grim Jim
Fan Rating: True Arab
2006/07
Shirt Sponsor: 
Destined
to follow Busby, Shanks, Stein and of course McLean as one of the
great Scottish football thinkers Tommy combines surging runs down
the right flank and thumping clearances with a sharp tactical brain.
Single handedly dragging the South London Tangerines from Sunday league
standard to Champions league standard. Shows the patience of an Arab
as the men of the SLTs struggle to get their heads round drills that
6 year olds pull off with consumate ease. Whatever you do though don't
even go near asking Tommy what he thinks of United's chances this
season and if you see his glass is half empty be sure to fill it up
for him.
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